It’s not a sin… It’s not a virtue, either. The fact is it is a psychological attacks. I couldn’t dent that I don’t experience it, but I could say I am guilty for I don’t know its symptoms. Maybe it is just in the mind: What you are thinking is your destiny. It is the power of suggestion, strong as it may be. It conspires with the ideals of the Power of Attractions, which put into light by the book the Secret.
Stop this madness. Now, let’s face the events of this exciting day. I was glad and happy that I made a tiny bit of achievement. Small as it may seem to others, still I would treasure it. None can deny that the value of small things is greater than the bulky ones. But I am not saying the the gigantic ones are valueless, all I am trying to say is that there is no big or small when it comes to achievement.
I am half-way through my battle with depression. I am feeling good and elated. I am enlightened. Thanks to all the help I acquired that is worth the gratitude. Help that no matter how small could cumulate to form an earth-size resource.
All is well now. I am hoping to pursue and finish the battle. The battle that could mean my failure or my success. May all the elements of the world conspire to help me. May all the graces of the Lord shower upon me. Also, may all my strength be used to my prayers to fulfill this dream.
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The fog of doubt crept deep within me. It blurs my judgment to things I previously has a tight grip with. It lingers till it burst to a more complicated emotion. Then, without warning it left me fruitless, clueless, and purposeless like an empty shell.
The shimmers of soft tears followed without further hesitation. The lightning of distress merged with the late effect of thundering regret. It increased in intensity, and the then gentle shimmers became a hard beating storm.
There is no way to turn back. What’s left was to change course and promise not to repeat the deed. The past was painful but I have learned. Its designs makes me weak at times, and thanks to the insistent rubbing I became callous. Callous not to my emotions but callously indifferent to my past.
The gloom and doom it put me into has their purpose that I don’t really know what. I know only of their effects but not the reason.
There is no future but only the present, I believe. For when you say tomorrow, it becomes today if it arrives. So I focused on the present, hard or gentle it may be. The past is only my reminders and nothing more. They are the entrails to look back to… to remeber the gloom and doom I felt before.
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The mere smell drives me nuts and trembling. She’s like a sweet-tempered Aunt that deep within her wanted to kill me. She’s like Dolores Umbridge of the Harry Potter Series. She’s only there when she wanted to demand something from me. She’s a devil dressed with the charming dress of a cherubim. She is hell designed to fool an unsuspecting passerby. She’s all I never wanted to be.
The hell I care…
No matter, it was simply here nature. She may be of good stature in life she should, at the least, know how to say "please" whenever she’s telling someone to do something for her. Maybe it was her breeding but at least she should have matured after the realizations and experiences in life. She’s an mirror-image of someone I know very well. What a shame.
What can we do is not to condemn them but to tell the truth as if we were tactless enough to do so. Pull some strength and make a move before it is too late — before she becomes too comfortable that she will do it repeatedly. I am a coward so they say but when it comes to my pride I will face that challenge.
Luckily she has changed and that’s what matters most — not the bad memory.
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